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PostSubject: new joke page    Thu Mar 31, 2011 6:58 am

any jokes you can think of put it here , dont matter whats it about

this one is a wee bit rude

One night a man and woman went to his house to have sex when he stopped her to say “I still live with my parents and me and my brother share bunk beds so if you want to change positions say “lettuce” and if you want to go faster say “tomatos”

So they were getting it on and she was screaming “lettuce, lettuce, tomatos, lettuce, tomatos, tomatos”

Suddenly the younger brother (on the bottom bunk) said

“Could you stop making sandwiches your getting mayonase on me”!
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PostSubject: Re: new joke page    Thu Mar 31, 2011 9:10 am

What do you call 4000 nuns in a store?


Virgin megastore
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PostSubject: Re: new joke page    Mon Apr 04, 2011 9:49 am

Two women friends had gone out for a Girls Night Out, and had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails. Incredibly drunk and walking home they suddenly realized they both needed to pee. They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a headstone or something. The first woman had nothing to wipe with so she took off her panties, used them and threw them away. Her friend however was wearing an expensive underwear set and didn't want to ruin hers, but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on a grave and proceeded to wipe herself with it. After finishing, they made their way home.

The next day the first woman's husband phones the other husband and said, "These damn girls nights out have got to stop. My wife came home last night without her panties." "That's nothing," said the other. "Mine came back with a sympathy card stuck between the cheeks of her butt that said, 'From all of us at the Fire Station, Well never forget you!'


THE BEST
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PostSubject: Re: new joke page    Sat Apr 09, 2011 9:35 am

rebecka black walked into old trafford football stadium and died of shock,too many seats to choose from lol
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PostSubject: Re: new joke page    Sat Apr 09, 2011 9:37 am

to liverpool footballers got caught speeding and using mobile phones round old trafford last week,when interviewedon there reasons thay replied"it's the only way we can get 3 points round here"
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PostSubject: Re: new joke page    Sat Apr 09, 2011 10:13 am

*Texting dad*
You: Hey dad, can I get some money for some coke?
Dad: Sure... is $60 enough?
You: Dad. It's $1.25.
Dad: Wow, the price sure went down from when I was a kid...
...You: DAD! COCA-COLA?
Dad: Oh..... lol
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PostSubject: Re: new joke page    Sat Apr 09, 2011 10:40 am

What’s purple and cube-shaped?

A purple cube.

What’s also purple and cube-shaped?

Another purple cube.

What’s also purple and cube-shaped?

A lemon in disguise!
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PostSubject: Re: new joke page    Sat Apr 09, 2011 10:43 am

lol that's auful lol
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PostSubject: Re: new joke page    Sat Apr 09, 2011 11:07 am

hey, that was a classic childish joke!!
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PostSubject: Re: new joke page    Sat Apr 09, 2011 11:08 am

i never said i did not find it funny
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PostSubject: Re: new joke page    Sat Apr 09, 2011 11:10 am

haha good Very Happy i love one which are so bad they are funny.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

It was dead

Why did the second monkey fall out the tree?

it was holding on to the first monkey

Why did the third monkey fall out the tree?

He thought it was a game!
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PostSubject: Re: new joke page    Sat Apr 09, 2011 11:21 am

lol what do you call a spice girl with 1 braincell?
inteligent

what do you call a spice girl with 2 braincells?

pregnent
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PostSubject: Re: new joke page    Sat Apr 09, 2011 11:33 am

Why does a chicken coop have two doors?

Because if had four doors it would be a chicken sedan!



whats blue and looks like a bucket?

A blue bucket

whats red and looks like a bucket?

A blue bucket in disguise


Whats grey and has a trunk and four legs?
A mouse on holiday!
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PostSubject: Re: new joke page    Sat Apr 09, 2011 11:40 am

what did you think of the photo of th Primeministers brain on the photo page
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PostSubject: Re: new joke page    Sat Apr 09, 2011 11:45 am

wasnt a bad joke
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PostSubject: Re: new joke page    Sat Apr 09, 2011 11:47 am

well with an ego his size there is no room left in his head for a brain lol
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PostSubject: Re: new joke page    Sat Apr 09, 2011 11:49 am

how do you know if a politician is about to lie?
he opens his mouth
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PostSubject: Re: new joke page    Sat Apr 09, 2011 11:49 am

lol thats no joke thats true
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PostSubject: Re: new joke page    Sat Apr 09, 2011 11:51 am

here is a good joke,
former pm tony blair has become roman catholic
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PostSubject: Re: new joke page    Sat Apr 09, 2011 11:56 am

religion and politics, the two things i know bugger all about XD
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PostSubject: Re: new joke page    Sat Apr 09, 2011 11:59 am

if you want to know my opinion of politics,just look inside a used sick bag lmao
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PostSubject: Re: new joke page    Sat Apr 09, 2011 12:03 pm

You: Teacher!
Teacher: Yes?
You: Can I ask you something?
Teacher: Sure, go on.
You: Would you punish me for something that I didn't do at all?
Teacher: Of course not.
You: Good, I didn't do my homework.
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PostSubject: Re: new joke page    Sat Apr 09, 2011 12:06 pm

Boy: grandma, have you seen my pills? they were labelled lsd.
grandma: f*ck the pills. have you seen the dragons in the kitchen
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PostSubject: Re: new joke page    Sat Apr 09, 2011 12:28 pm

Me: Can I use the bathroom?
Teacher: I don't know, can you?
Me: When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?
Teacher:...
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PostSubject: Re: new joke page    Sat Apr 09, 2011 12:38 pm

haha you are so stealing these off facebook
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